Today, I left something that no longer worked for me. Today, I left something that, while it had good qualities, it also had enough bad qualities to overcome the good. Today, I found a better alternative to what I'd grown used to.
Today, I left Geeky Bears. Today, I joined Geeky Bears Redux.
First, let me explain what Geeky Bears is. Geeky Bears is a Facebook group designed around guys who are both in the bear community and identify as some kind of geek or nerd. We talk about everything from the newest anime series, to retro video game consoles, to sci-fi series and recent MMO's. We share memes and images that only a true geek would understand, and it's mostly a fun time for all.
But Geeky Bears isn't just about geeks. It's also a place where those of us who identify as bears can feel safe about being who we are, both as gay men and as bears. We can make references to our orientation and preferences when discussing something geeky (such as which comic book characters we find attractive) without fearing being judged. And this, too, has been a fun experience.
Now let me explain the problem with gay-oriented groups.
Whenever someone creates a group such as Geeky Bears, they have a particular goal in mind for the group. Typically the goal is to create a group that focuses around the more common part of the group, while providing a safe zone for the latter part. With Geeky Bears, the goal was to provide a safe atmosphere for those who identified as bears but focus primarily on celebrating being geeks.
However, as often happens in such groups, the smaller part of the group starts to become what the group is more focused on. In gay groups specifically, we often see what I call a Selfie Swarm, where users post large amounts of selfies, mainly looking for approval from other members. With groups that aim to provide a safe space for a minority, having some of these selfies in place to create an accepting atmosphere is acceptable. However, there are times when people post selfies way too often, and usually the administration of a group isn't very eager to strike the selfies down. As such, more and more people begin posting selfies, because that's what the group is becoming. Instead of being a geeky-themed group, the group becomes a second Tumblr page. And those who joined the group for the minority aspect of the group stay with that group.
Others simply start from scratch. Which is exactly how the group Geeky Bears was formed.
Originally, there was a group called Gay Geeks that had many of the same goals of Geeky Bears, but aimed to provide an accepting environment for all gays, not just a sub-community. Eventually, however, the Gay part became more important than the Geeks part, and the group devolved into selfie after selfie. Eventually, some members of Gay Geeks decided they'd had enough of the selfie fest and decided to start their own group, dedicated to sticking to the principles with which Gay Geeks had initially been founded. Geeky Bears was born.
But over time, Geeky Bears faced the same problems as Gay Geeks. Slowly, selfies became the norm, drowning out any geek-related posts. And in a community geared toward bears, the Selfie Swarm became a bigger problem, as there are more bears that face body image problems than most of the gay community. Seeking an accepting environment, they start posting selfies. A lot of them. And the administrators of Geeky Bears allowed it.
Soon enough, some of us decided that the Selfie Swarm was not what we wanted, and we broke off to form our own group: Geeky Bears Redux. The parallels of our own formation to that of Geeky Bears is not lost on me, or on many of the other members. We know full well that we could turn into the next Gay Geeks if we're not careful. I'm a bit worried about whether we'll be able to stick to our goals better than Geeky Bears did.
For right now, though, I feel much better with where I'm at.
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