The Real Victims of Racism in 2015

Every so often, I hear the term "white privilege" being thrown around.  It's been repeated so often, it's known as fact among most people, whether of color or not.  I ran across two articles that demonstrated what I mean perfectly: 17 Deplorable Examples of White Privilege and White Privilege Explained in a Comic.  They express a lot of common ideas about white privilege, the main one being that more people of color are incarcerated than Caucasian individuals.  A lot of these ideas are myths or symptoms of a different problem. The 17 examples article is a good one to dissect.

I will be using African American, black people, non-white, people of color, and racial minority interchangeably in this article, because the majority of the people who are crying ''white privilege'' are black and want to keep the race discussion black and white.

A former friend once posted on Facebook that he was pulled over by a cop one time.  Instead of remaining in the car, he chose to get out of the car and try talking with the cop.  He claimed later it was due to his white privilege.  It sounds more like stupidity to me.  Anyone with half a brain knows that cops are armed, and if someone tries to get out of a car when pulled over, they are likely either trying to run or confront the cop.  If you're a cop, being leery of someone getting out of their car when you've pulled them over makes sense, regardless of the person's race.  Cops are not discriminating against black people anymore than white people when it comes to traffic stops, being pulled over, stop and frisk operations, drug busts, or any other crimes.  Crime is crime, and if you commit a crime, you deserve to be punished, black or white.

The reason why there are more black people in prison is due to two things: history and gang culture.  African Americans did not have the same opportunities Caucasian people did, as early as fifty years ago.  At the time, black people did suffer from ''systemic racism'', and they had to work harder to reach the same place as their Caucasian colleagues.  Affirmative Action policies only helped get a few minority families into suburbia, but once there, they provided enough middle and upper class minority employees to fill race quotas, and poor minorities were again being skipped over.  This large gap led many people to crime, out of desperation or rebellion, and many were arrested.  Soon, though, criminal activity became popular among the poor non-white communities, and gang culture became much more wide-spread in the nineties.  With many minority parents not having the time to raise their kids, many minorities were raised by gangster rap, believing it was how they were supposed to be.  The story of a rags-to-riches kind of guy is a powerful draw for someone who has nothing, so it makes sense that a lot of minority kids turned to gangs to try to make a life for themselves.  Unfortunately, many of them end up in prison.  Gang culture and poverty combine to create this result, not racism.

A lot of people think white people aren't judged by the way they dress.  This simply isn't true.  If you go into a store looking like trash, store owners and other customers will be leery of you because you look like the kind of person who is more likely to rob the store and patrons than someone else.  Being suspicious of someone who looks different from you is human nature, and has been scientifically proven time and again.  If you look like a meth-head or a gangster, you'll be the target of suspicion.  The only reason this part of human behavior has been lumped into ''white privilege'' is because gang culture made dressing like trash popular for black kids.

A lot of people think racial minorities are less likely to be hired because they are black.  The exact opposite is true.  Affirmative action policies give people of color an unfair advantage, as do scholarships and colleges designed specifically for people of color.  Racial minorities actually have more opportunities for advancement than Caucasian people do, when comparing two people of equal social/economic status.  The only reason black people seem to be hired less is black people, on average, and due to the reasons already mentioned before, tend to be poorer than their white counterparts.

People think people of color are the only ones who are poor.  Not true.  While the poor black kids may be in the inner cities, the poor white kids are everywhere in between the cities, working the farms or the tiny businesses that happen to stay afloat in the areas between cities.  We have nothing more to look forward to than the local gas station or fast food restaurant, simply because, like inner-city black kids, we had the misfortune of being born into poor families.  We have no more ability to move and live where we'd like to than poor black people.  We have no more ability to get a job or education than poor black people.  A lot of this nation's poor are white, and we don't get to have these 'white privileges'.

Let me show you what actual racism and privilege looks like.

White people do not have congressional committees, civil rights organizations, affirmative action policies, or race-specific institutions designed to advance our needs.  We simply get by with what we have.  Having these is a privilege black people and other racial minorities have that we don't.  This is Black Privilege.

We cannot participate in any sort of racial diversity activities as examples of diversity without being shamed for being white.  We cannot claim to be proud of who we are as white people, for fear of being labelled racist.  These are things racial minorities do not have to worry about.  This is Black Privilege.

We are as legitimate a target for racism as anyone else, but our concerns are never heard.  We're excluded from job opportunities because we're not a racial minority.  We don't have mobs of people going after police because a white person was shot for doing something stupid.  Racial minorities do.  This is Black Privilege.

Every discussion on 'white privilege' conducted by racial minorities discusses neighborhoods being ''under attack'' by white cops and white privilege.  Every discussion is less about changing things for the better and more about blaming white people for everyone's problems.  Where have I heard this before?  Oh yeah, the same things have been said about gay people by conservative Christians for years.  This is racism, performed by racial minorities against Caucasian people, and not only is it tolerated, it's embraced in ''diversity'' circles.  Racism against racial minorities is very widely frowned upon, but the opposite, ''reverse racism'', is embraced.  This is Black Privilege.

Black people can beg society to treat them the same as white people, all the while using slavery as a means to get whatever they want, claiming reparations for the sins of the father.  Black people can use slavery as an excuse to continue Affirmative Action policies, to keep all-black colleges open, to justify every privilege black people have that while people do not.  White people can't do this.  This is Black Privilege.

I invite everyone to look upon the real victims of racism in 2015.  I invite all people who cry "white privilege" to check their own privilege at the door.  I ask everyone to use your brains and approach these issues like adults.  If we don't, issues of poverty and crime will never be fixed.

I'm Gay, and I'm Proud to be a Man

Somehow, I stumbled across the following Queerty article: Why do Masculine Men Look Down on Feminine Gay Men?  Many familiar themes are expressed in the article: masculine gay men are only masculine to try to hide who they are when it's convenient, being masculine and gay is so much easier than being masculine and effeminate, effeminate gay men are stronger and have more courage than masculine gay men, there's no such thing as gender norms, masculine gay men are not being authentic and true to themselves.  I've heard these many times over the years from effeminate gay men who are simultaneously telling me to ''be myself'', with their idea of ''myself'' being an effeminate, flaming queen.

What if I told you that when I'm being masculine, I am being true to myself?  You probably wouldn't believe me.  You'd think any one of the opinions expressed in the referenced article.  You'd look down on me as being self-loathing, cowardly, and hateful.

Let me correct you: I am a masculine gay man, and I'm proud of who I am.

I began to realize who I was in high school.  Before this point, thanks to society, I believed being gay was the same thing as being a man who acted like a woman.  Then freshman year of high school happened, when I had this combination of crush and ''man crush'' (admiration, not attraction, toward another man) on a guy in my science class.  He was a defensive lineman, and I found his physique to be attractive.  I realized I wanted to have a body like his and I wanted him in bed next to me.  I wasn't influenced by other people to think this way.  I simply found that I liked how he looked.  I knew I found him attractive, but didn't want to take on the 'gay' label, as I still felt it meant being effeminate.

As I came to terms with who I was over the next few years, including coming out to my family, I realized that I didn't fit in with the effeminate gay men at our school.  I wasn't out yet at school, but I knew I wasn't like them in some way.  I loved going to the gym, and loved the idea of joining the wrestling team.  I felt like a man, and wanted to be treated like a man.  For a long time I was, but only because I was closeted.

College came, and I came out.

As a recently out gay man, I wanted to find other gay men, to have a community who would be accepting of my sexuality.  I thought I'd found one in the local GSA.  What I found were a bunch of effeminate gay men who had driven any non-effeminate gay men out of the group by openly mocking masculinity and straight men.  Many didn't believe I was actually out until I started dating my ex my sophomore year.  When I tried to join the local chapter of DLP, I really began to see how much I was being rejected for doing exactly what everyone in the GSA was telling me to do all along: be myself.  Fed up with the bigotry, I left the organization, and eventually the school, hoping to find greener pastures in Kansas City.

No such luck.  Where anti-masculinity was confined to the LGBT community in Rolla, it was wide-spread in Kansas City.  Where I could find other men to be men with in Rolla so long as I wasn't flaming, no such men existed for me in Kansas City.  I went from super-conservative Rolla to super-liberal Kansas City, and found I had no place in either world.  After losing my funding for college, I moved back home.

I love working with tools.  I love lifting weights.  I love wrestling.  I love building things.  I prefer bourbon because beer and wine are too weak for me.  I wear work boots and wranglers instead of pastel-colored jeans.  I am masculine, not because someone told me to be, but because it is who I am.

And no one will accept me.

Effeminate gay men have a community.  Masculine gay men do not.  Effeminate gay men aren't asked by other gay men whether they're actually gay.  Masculine gay men are.  Effeminate gay men can have girlfriends with whom they can be effeminate and be accepted.  Masculine gay men can not.  Effeminate gay men are represented in every media outlet.  Masculine gay men are not.

Most masculine gay men are out of the closet, and we'll never go back in.  The difference between us is whether we gently opened the closet door and let people see us or whether we kicked the door open so hard that we racked every straight guy around with the door knob.  Most masculine gay men have the maturity to know that our sexuality is not relevant at three in the morning when ordering burgers, or when we're trying to stay awake while a professor teaches a boring subject.  Most effeminate gay men do not.

Masculine gay men have the courage to be more than just a stereotype.  We be exactly who we are, not just another caricature of the stereotype.  We have the bravery to try to be men amongst other men, who are far more capable of beating the living shit out of us than effeminate men's girlfriends are.

We are not cowardly.

We are not hiding.

We are masculine gay men, and we are proud of who we are!